Four Truths of the Tiramisu

When you've seen beyond yourself then you may find
Peace of mind is waiting there.
George Harrison, Within You Without You, 1967

As a nurse, I feel that people assume I am compassionate. I myself am not always sure that I am compassionate. I feel I need to have a better understanding of the word. What does the word compassionate mean? Out comes my handy dandy note book, which really means I Google the word to understand its meaning. My favorite word site dictionary.com defines compassion, as 'a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering'.

I believe we all have words that describe us at first glance, as a person within a crowd of people. Words that I think would generally be used to describe me at a first meeting would be; woman, mother, tall, eccentric, strong, sarcastic wit and intelligent. I do not feel I come across to other people at first glance as compassionate. After daily meditation I like to think of one word that describes myself and my vibrational tone to my mood in the moment. Today my word was consideration.

I do feel empathy for people that are having physical or emotional difficulties. By definition I am compassionate. Another part of the definition of compassion is 'a strong desire to alleviate suffering'. I know as a person I am aging, there is sickness all around me and death is certain. I can not change any of these truths. I do want to help ease the suffering of people. Yes I want to lighten and diminish my fellow humans of their suffering by nursing and caring for them. There are many layers to words such as compassion, empathy and sympathy like a layered dessert called tiramisu. I like to cook. Cooking gives me time to think, ponder and deepen my understanding of my self. The act of cooking creates a different type of meditative energy then walking or sitting.  

I really like this photo of the layered dessert that means 'pick me up' as described by the 'Slow Cooker' on her blog dated 2010. I have made this dessert several times and it has always been just a bit different from the last attempt. I would like to think it was a bit better but a bit different is another layer to the word better. Compassion has a definition and then there are the layers attached to the definition. A word layered, like a delicate tiramisu. 

I work in the emergency department of a local hospital. Compassion can easily be misplaced in the busy setting of the ER. I need to get your story, assess, obtain vital signs, get a urine sample, chart and make sure you are ready for ordered test such as cat scans, xrays and ultrasounds. I have to work to make sure you are getting your physical needs met. Doing my job as a nurse is not always consider compassionate. As I work I am respectful and kind but I am not sure again that I am being compassionate because I am implementing critical thinking and problem solving skills. 

Buddha taught there is the truth of suffering, the truth of the cause of suffering, the truth to the end of suffering and the truth of the path to end suffering. Life is not about suffering instead it is a perspective of the world. Egg yolks, sugar, mascarpone cheese and stiffened egg whites are the four noble truths of the tiramisu. The truths or the sweet cheese layer of the tiramisu is a bridge between the physical tasting and the bliss of understanding the dessert. I would equate the layer of the lady fingers of the tiramisu to the structure and the building block of the dessert with a mild sponge and hit of vanilla amaretto coffee bite. I am a student of Buddhism and my thoughts are my understandings of Buddha teaching through meditation and reading. Suffering can be physical or of a mental nature. In this moment my focus is self centered thoughts or self importance in relation to suffering. I have been following guided meditations that have been helping me understand and have mindful compassion by holding difficult emotion such as fear, anger, sadness, shame and self doubt and letting them go, to refill myself with loving awareness. I am then brimming with compassionate joy for myself and in turn spreads out to people around me.

from the Centuries Of Meditations

You never enjoy the world aright, till the Sea itself floweth in your veins, 

till you are clothed with the heavens, and crowned with the stars: 

and perceive yourself to be the sole heir of the whole world, and more than so, 

because men are in it who are every one sole heirs as well as you. 

Till you can sing and rejoice and delight in God, as misers do in gold, 

and Kings in sceptres, you never enjoy the world.

Till your spirit filleth the whole world, and the stars are your jewels; 

 till you are as familiar with the ways of God in all Ages as with your walk and table: 

till you are intimately acquainted with that shady nothing out of which the world was made: till you love men so as to desire their happiness, with a thirst equal to the zeal of your own: till you delight in God for being good to all: you never enjoy the world. 

By ~ Thomas Traherne 

I feel there are three components to compassion to understand and then incorporate into my daily life to be considered compassionate. Being able to noticing suffering in the people around me is the first step. If my eyes are turned inward toward my self and overly concerned with my own feelings then I can not be a compassionate person. I want my response to another persons suffering to be kind and caring. My response may be verbal, energetic or touch which is a connection between us that says, I notice your suffering. The human experience is something that we all share and my response is an acknowledgment of our shared humanity. 

I do find it easier to be compassionate toward others than with myself. I tend not to notice my own suffering and my judgement of my self and self criticism can be harsh. I am remembering to open my heart toward my self during medication and daily living. The link belong was a very helpful compassionate self examination. 

Test how self compassionate you are by following this link and answering 26 questions.  

My meditation word today is consideration. I have considered and given careful thought to the meanings of compassion. For many weeks I have been meditating on different aspects of compassion and asking myself how I can be a better nurse, be a better human and be kinder to myself. I have been keeping the word close to my heart and trying to live compassionately. The most thoughtful act I can do today on my day off from work is wash everyone clothes and make tiramisu.

Just in case you feel the need to make a delicious tiramisu for your family and do not have any mascarpone cheese handy here is a substitution for the cheese:

Mascarpone Cheese Substitute
Ingredient   

One 16 oz block of cream cheese (softened)
1/2 cup of sour cream
1/4 cup heavy whipping cream

Directions
1. Lightly whip the heavy whipping cream to smooth peaks
2. Blend the 3 ingredients until smooth. 

The next most thoughtful act I can do is to spend my time with the people I love and notice them while we connect between blissful bites of tiramisu.  

Ice Amour

Soft snow and an almost completely iced over Anthony Creek. 

The weather in southern West Virginia is freezing chill bone rattling cold. I do not like being cold. My bones ache and send stressed messages to the rest of my body to hurry and get warm. I take frequent warming lavender and orange scented baths to appease my grumbling bones.
Last weekend I bundled myself in long johns, t-shits, sweaters, clunky winter boots, wooly socks, two scarves, mittens and a very warm knit hat and braved the winter weather and went for a hike. I enjoy hiking this very easy trail in the Big Draft Wilderness area of Monongahela National Forest. I hike and photograph the trail all year long. The area is more than lovely, it is a slice of natures love pie.
I had been contemplating my thoughts about winter, ice, cold and water. What message was I sending to myself and others? When water is NOT frozen and cold I know I send unconscious thoughts of joy, love and happiness to the water that surrounds me. I thought about Dr Marsaru Emoto work with water and how water is connected to our individual and collective consciousness.

I try to think positive thoughts, believing my energy and the way I speak affects the water flowing through and nourishing me. Water is everywhere. Water is in the air, our food, our breath, rivers, our bodies, oceans, glaciers, tiny mountain streams and in our drinking glasses.

Intracellular, extracellular, plasma,

interstitial, gastrointestinal, cerebrospinal, 

peritoneal, ocular 

I noticed that during the winter my thoughts and comments are negatively directed at all the frozen water giving me chills. I decided to take a winter walk to appreciate winter and photograph the beauty of frozen water. I wanted to change my relationship to snow flakes, icy crystals, snjor, complex hexagonal patterns, nieve blanco, snow, powder snow, slush, snow drifts and blankets of snow.

Anthony Creek with a warm blanket of protective snow.

Everything in life can be nourishing. 

Everything can bless us, but we've got to be there for the blessing to occur. 

Being present with quality is a decision we are invited to make each day.

-- MacRina Wiederkehr

Everything in life can be nourishing...even cold water, ice, snow and a blustery cold breezes. I am choosing to change my thoughts and remember the befits of the cold frozen landscape of winter. The snow insulates the soil, recharges ground water aquifers, cultivates magic, possibilities, and inner child wonder.

Rhododendron bushes with magical buds that will bloom in the spring.
The magic of snow is the possibilities brewing under its protective decorative frosting.  

Crystal clear water moving through the ice creating paths and patterns.

Closer to Blue Bend the water changed to a greenish color adding a warmish glow. The color is an interesting hue next to the stark white, gray and blueish ice and chilly snow. 


















The relationship that I have with water is important to me since I use water in my spiritual practice. My wintery hike was not just fun but a way for me to realign my thoughts to be positive instead of negative or complaining about frozen water. Kala is an important water transformation ritual that is a corner stone of Feri practice. Into the water I send my inner fears, shame and guilt. My energetic blue eye and breaths transforms the water into love. I drink in love, healing energy and life, sending nourishing radiant light to God Soul which continues the transformation process into grace.

Who is this flower above me?

 What is the work of this God? 

I would know myself and all my parts.

So Mote it Be.

 

Frozen love

 

My dog a white Lab was named by my middle son, is Dumbledore (or affectionately Bumble Dumble) loved the snowy blowy winter walk. He ran, jumped, tasted and rolled around in the snow giving me lots of warm hearten joy. 

I took a fun photo of me wearing my hand spun knit, very warm hat that is slightly too big with my two scarves. Yes, my nose is Rudolph red cold but my smile is warm enough to melt the snow!

Halcyon

Copyright:© Laura Crawford Williams/VIREO

What do I want?
A friend told me about a Life Coach she had been seeing and thought I might be interested. A Life Coach, as I understand is someone who offers guidance as the other person goes through a learning process that will facilitate new behaviors for personal growth or professional advancement. I have met with her and felt the experience very helpful for me. I will meet with her for several more months. Her information is linked to this blog located under links of interest.

I needed to reconnect with my passionate geeky self. A thread of melancholy had woven its way into my life. While perusing one of my favorite web sites which is a dictionary  slash lots of other cool stuff geeky word stuff, I found this word that summed up the off colored weaving thread, lugubrious. This word means, mournful, dismal, or gloomy in an exaggerated or unrelieved manner. Ok, now go to the link connected to the word lugubrious and listen to the pronunciation. How can a word that sounds so bubbly and fun be so down? I just love that word. I hit the audio button several times in a row, lugubrious, lugubrious, lugubrious and now I am giggling.

Right around Yule or Christmas my emotions calmed. I like this Greek myth and the meaning of the word halcyon. I would love to say I saw a Belted Kingfisher or even heard the bird call but no, I did not. At Winter Solstice I felt my self sink back into my self. I believe being with my family and talking to the Life Coach helped. I feel I am now in a nest of my own making on a calm clear cold river floating along peacefully and healing.
 

All spiritual disciplines are done with a view to still the mind. The perfectly still mind is universal spirit. -- Swami Ramdas

(I am trying)

Our family holiday celebration was joyful. One day to prepare and the other to celebrate. My mother and I made a chowder as our main dish for our family event. My parents are from New England and I remember as a child living with my Nana in Massachusetts enjoying bowls of fish chowder that was fishy and full of potatoes. Chowders had been considered 'poor mans food' but now have been elevated to rich and cream or tangy tomato 'hearty mainstay' of delectable yum. My mother and I made a seafood chowder. Parts of the recipe is from memories of my mother learning from my Nana and some of the recipe is from our collective cooking experience. I wish I had taken a picture but I was having to much fun.

Seafood Chowder

2 large live Maine lobsters
5 cups of water
1lb cleaned large shrimp
1 large container of oysters
1lb of sea scollops
4 or 5 lb of cod
5 lb of peeled white potatoes
1 stick of unsalted butter
sunflower oil to coat pan for frying
2 large onions
1 small bag of frozen corn
salt, white pepper, 5 garlic cloves

1. In a large stock pot boil water. Place the lobsters in one at a time head first. Boil on high 5-8 minutes. Remove the lobsters, plunging into ice water to stop the cooking process and let them cool. Empty the dirty water and clean stock pot. Pick the lobsters. Save the meat and refrigerate. Discard the green stuff/tomally, and the lungs in the body of the lobster. Boil 5 cups of water and add the lobster shell, body and empty legs to the water to make stock. Boil and reduce to 4 cups of water. Strain, discard shells and save the yummy stock in the frig.
2. While you are making the stock, peel the potatoes, wash in cold water, cut into chunks and boil until tender. Remove half and mash. Put the rest in the frig until later.
3. When the stock is done, strained and removed from the large stock pot, add chopped onion and stick of butter. Cook until tender. Add the mashed potatoes and return the stock water. Cook on medium heat.
4. Drain the oyster, scallops and cod. Add the drained liquid to the stock pot. Quick fry oysters, scallops and cod in sunflower oil to seal in their flavor. They may not be completely cooked. 
5. Add frozen corn to stock and potatoes. Return to a simmer. Add crushed garlic. Add the potato chunks.
6. Add the cooked oysters, scallops and cod. Return to a boil. Add more water if it is too thick. Return to boil. Add the shrimp.  The shrimp will turn pink and be cooked very quickly.
7. Add salt and white pepper to taste. Add the clunked lobster meat.
8. Taste and make sure there is enough salt, pepper and garlic. Turn off the heat, cool to warm and serve with oyster crackers.

So yummy, potato thick and rich with Poseidon gifts!!!