Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Four Truths of the Tiramisu

When you've seen beyond yourself then you may find
Peace of mind is waiting there.
George Harrison, Within You Without You, 1967

As a nurse, I feel that people assume I am compassionate. I myself am not always sure that I am compassionate. I feel I need to have a better understanding of the word. What does the word compassionate mean? Out comes my handy dandy note book, which really means I Google the word to understand its meaning. My favorite word site dictionary.com defines compassion, as 'a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering'.

I believe we all have words that describe us at first glance, as a person within a crowd of people. Words that I think would generally be used to describe me at a first meeting would be; woman, mother, tall, eccentric, strong, sarcastic wit and intelligent. I do not feel I come across to other people at first glance as compassionate. After daily meditation I like to think of one word that describes myself and my vibrational tone to my mood in the moment. Today my word was consideration.

I do feel empathy for people that are having physical or emotional difficulties. By definition I am compassionate. Another part of the definition of compassion is 'a strong desire to alleviate suffering'. I know as a person I am aging, there is sickness all around me and death is certain. I can not change any of these truths. I do want to help ease the suffering of people. Yes I want to lighten and diminish my fellow humans of their suffering by nursing and caring for them. There are many layers to words such as compassion, empathy and sympathy like a layered dessert called tiramisu. I like to cook. Cooking gives me time to think, ponder and deepen my understanding of my self. The act of cooking creates a different type of meditative energy then walking or sitting.  



I really like this photo of the layered dessert that means 'pick me up' as described by the 'Slow Cooker' on her blog dated 2010. I have made this dessert several times and it has always been just a bit different from the last attempt. I would like to think it was a bit better but a bit different is another layer to the word better. Compassion has a definition and then there are the layers attached to the definition. A word layered, like a delicate tiramisu. 
I work in the emergency department of a local hospital. Compassion can easily be misplaced in the busy setting of the ER. I need to get your story, assess, obtain vital signs, get a urine sample, chart and make sure you are ready for ordered test such as cat scans, xrays and ultrasounds. I have to work to make sure you are getting your physical needs met. Doing my job as a nurse is not always consider compassionate. As I work I am respectful and kind but I am not sure again that I am being compassionate because I am implementing critical thinking and problem solving skills. 

Buddha taught there is the truth of suffering, the truth of the cause of suffering, the truth to the end of suffering and the truth of the path to end suffering. Life is not about suffering instead it is a perspective of the world. Egg yolks, sugar, mascarpone cheese and stiffened egg whites are the four noble truths of the tiramisu. The truths or the sweet cheese layer of the tiramisu is a bridge between the physical tasting and the bliss of understanding the dessert. I would equate the layer of the lady fingers of the tiramisu to the structure and the building block of the dessert with a mild sponge and hit of vanilla amaretto coffee bite. I am a student of Buddhism and my thoughts are my understandings of Buddha teaching through meditation and reading. Suffering can be physical or of a mental nature. In this moment my focus is self centered thoughts or self importance in relation to suffering. I have been following guided meditations that have been helping me understand and have mindful compassion by holding difficult emotion such as fear, anger, sadness, shame and self doubt and letting them go, to refill myself with loving awareness. I am then brimming with compassionate joy for myself and in turn spreads out to people around me.
from the Centuries Of Meditations

You never enjoy the world aright, till the Sea itself floweth in your veins, 
till you are clothed with the heavens, and crowned with the stars: 
and perceive yourself to be the sole heir of the whole world, and more than so, 
because men are in it who are every one sole heirs as well as you. 
Till you can sing and rejoice and delight in God, as misers do in gold, 
and Kings in sceptres, you never enjoy the world.


Till your spirit filleth the whole world, and the stars are your jewels; 
 till you are as familiar with the ways of God in all Ages as with your walk and table: 
till you are intimately acquainted with that shady nothing out of which the world was made: till you love men so as to desire their happiness, with a thirst equal to the zeal of your own: till you delight in God for being good to all: you never enjoy the world. 

I feel there are three components to compassion to understand and then incorporate into my daily life to be considered compassionate. Being able to noticing suffering in the people around me is the first step. If my eyes are turned inward toward my self and overly concerned with my own feelings then I can not be a compassionate person. I want my response to another persons suffering to be kind and caring. My response may be verbal, energetic or touch which is a connection between us that says, I notice your suffering. The human experience is something that we all share and my response is an acknowledgment of our shared humanity. 

I do find it easier to be compassionate toward others than with myself. I tend not to notice my own suffering and my judgement of my self and self criticism can be harsh. I am remembering to open my heart toward my self during medication and daily living. The link belong was a very helpful compassionate self examination. 
Test how self compassionate you are by following this link and answering 26 questions.  

My meditation word today is consideration. I have considered and given careful thought to the meanings of compassion. For many weeks I have been meditating on different aspects of compassion and asking myself how I can be a better nurse, be a better human and be kinder to myself. I have been keeping the word close to my heart and trying to live compassionately. The most thoughtful act I can do today on my day off from work is wash everyone clothes and make tiramisu.

Just in case you feel the need to make a delicious tiramisu for your family and do not have any mascarpone cheese handy here is a substitution for the cheese:

Mascarpone Cheese Substitute
Ingredient   



One 16 oz block of cream cheese (softened)
1/2 cup of sour cream
1/4 cup heavy whipping cream

Directions
1. Lightly whip the heavy whipping cream to smooth peaks
2. Blend the 3 ingredients until smooth. 

The next most thoughtful act I can do is to spend my time with the people I love and notice them while we connect between blissful bites of tiramisu.